I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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