Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
