I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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