is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
