Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
