he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
