Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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