I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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