Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
