OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Found the puke drawer
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
