I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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