wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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