I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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