don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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