I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
