If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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