Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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