Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
