it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
