I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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