he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
