before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize