I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
A+ Viking dick
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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