Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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