Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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