If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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