It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just found puke in my bra..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
