I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
