She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
