Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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