i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
