I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
