Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
