with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize