You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
