**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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