I just saw a hot homeless man
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
