I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
