the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
