something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize