Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
