The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
