I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
