OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
