It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm too high and old for this...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
