I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you would pick up someone in the library
ugly people sure do ruin things
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
