Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize