Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
