I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
