omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
