i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
