i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How does one acquire holy water?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
