Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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