and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
