I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize