It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
