loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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