Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have fence marks all over my body
i now understand why vodka
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
