i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the condom got lost in my hair
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
