thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
