I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize